I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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