He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize