i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
