why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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