My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
