who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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