dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
