If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
tell me about the eggs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
