I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
