no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
