I want to stick my p in your. b.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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