You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
