you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
