Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
