That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
