So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
