Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
