And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
