Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need water and some morals
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
