she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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