someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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