I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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