Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
