chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
