can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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