we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
