I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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