You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
