my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
MIDGETS
????
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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