It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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