Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
