i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
