I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
