I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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