yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
