I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
