So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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