Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dignity is for republicans.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
