oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
