i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
