if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize