remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
