She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
