make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
