i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
