i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
