if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
