Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
