Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
