I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
