well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
