if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
