I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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