I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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