the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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