elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
