Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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