I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
