It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
