At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize