her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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