Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
